The Institute Welcomes You

We, here, at the Contemporary College of Excellence
Would like to extend a most warm welcome
Indeed, you are privileged, to garner a spot here
And we trust that you will make the most of your stay
Oh, don’t worry, just sign on the dotted line
It’s the key to your future, be good and enjoy

At this fine institution, we cater for what you enjoy
After all, our only goal, is aiding your excellence.
Every Child a Masterpiece is more than the company line
Don’t thank us for our generosity, you’re most welcome
Although you can show us your gratitude as long as you stay
To send in a voluntary donation, please click here

We love everybody, even the gays apply here
This is an open arena for all to enjoy
So please, respect our ethos, if you intend to stay
Unbridled equality and a commitment to excellence
While we encourage free thinking, dissent is unwelcome
Eat all your lunch and stand upright in line

Our College comes from a long, highly esteemed line
So very progressive, we even let the blacks in here
Naturally, racism, and bigotry is not welcome
Just a few of the ills we, euphemistically, do not enjoy
I’m sure you share our thirst for excellence
So please don’t upset us, we’d like you to stay

Now, there’s a boarding house, where the scholarship kids stay
You’ll live here, with ones that can’t afford to step out of line
Discipline is key to our vision and mission of excellence
You certainly agree, remember the Code of Conduct you signed over here?
What’s that? There are aspects that you don’t seem to enjoy?
Ha! You mean to say you shirk our warm welcome?

With great sorrow we must inform you that you are no longer welcome
We can’t teach you our ways, you’ve squandered your stay
Unfortunately, this means, this “Freedom of Expression” you enjoy
And our company policy are no longer in line
We can’t allow all your lofty, quite frankly, impractical, dreams here
But we thought you knew – There’s only room for convention in excellence

Dearest new applicant, we enjoy the opportunity to send you this welcome
Entrust us with honing your excellence during the course of your stay
Now, if you will, a mere formality: sign on the line, here, here, and here


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